Happy Valentine’s Day! This has always been one of my favorite holidays, single, dating, and married. (No, I’m not kidding) As an ENFJ, I usually go overboard, as with most holidays and birthdays, and we celebrate with pancakes with strawberries cut into hearts, sugar cookies, chocolate, and heart-shaped homemade pizza with plenty leftover to give to our family and friends. The trick is to make Valentine’s Day a day where you don’t wonder how much others love you, but you show how much you love others. How? Why not start with the ultimate “love” letter? (Note: Can’t think of anyone? Feeling down in the dumps? Write a letter for yourself! My Valentine’s gift to you. <3) INSTRUCTIONS: 1 - Invite (gently) your other person to take the MBTIIf they refuse, that’s totally fine, it won’t hamper your ability to move forward. Optional: Watch the designated Encouragement video for your spouse on my YouTube channel here. It won’t take longer than a minute and a half, promise. 2 - Write down your other person’s strengths and what you love about them.Do they give the perfect hugs? Does their smile brighten your day? Do they keep you grounded? Do they geek out with you over a shared interest? Do they put up with you geeking out over an unshared interest? ;) 3 - Thank them for five things they did that day that you appreciatedDid they do anything above and beyond the norm? Is the norm what helps you get through your day? Did they make the bed or let you pick the movie? Did they look nice that day? 4 - Offer something from yourselfNon-material gifts can mean a lot. Are you going to take care of a chore usually reserved for your other person? Are you going to spend an entire day saying nothing but compliments to them? Sing to them, write to them, make something for them. It doesn’t matter if it’s actually good, just that it’s from you. 5 - Say the “L” wordThe most important part of any love letter is actually telling the person “I love you.” Say it in your letter, then say it in person. If they don’t believe you, look them in the eyes, think about how incredible this person is, every detail, and say it again. People can sense sincerity. Mean it from the tip of your toes to the last hair on your head. When we make Valentine’s Day a day of giving instead of receiving, we change the entire paradigm of the holiday into something a little less lonely and a little more unifying. What’s the best Valentine’s Day you remember? How can you make the day amazing for others?
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How many times have you read the instructions before a personality test: “Answer the following questions honestly”? Then, after taking the quiz, you feel like the results only partially get you or you’re completely disappointed altogether? Sometimes it’s the fault of the personality quiz. If you’re looking to find out what fantasy creature you are or what color your soul is, I hope you realized before taking the quiz that it’s just for fun and not really meant to help you understand yourself. If not, let it go and take the quiz again until you like the result because it doesn’t matter. Laugh, share it on Twitter, and move on. Some personality tests seem like they’re legit, but are too broad or general in their descriptions to give you any true substance in learning about yourself. I won’t name names, but I have a difficult time with tests with only four differing results. These may be excellent places to start learning about yourself, but for those who are hungry for an in-depth understanding of how their mind works and their strengths and weaknesses, these tests aren’t enough. Everyone ends up having traits of all four results and the self-portrait you try to create ends up one big glob of paint mixed until no single color or shape is recognizable. This leaves the Enneagram and MBTI. I confess, I don’t know enough about the Enneagram to make a solid judgement (though I did take the test and got a type 4, wing 3), but with the Meyers-Briggs Typology I see huge potential to really get to know yourself. The problems start when one isn’t fully honest with themselves while taking the test. For this reason, I usually advise to trust the first result one got on the test without knowing what the types are beforehand. The second, third, and fourth times you take it, you know which answers lead to which result and can manipulate the test to get a result you might like better or subconsciously determine who you think you are instead of who you really are. So, what if you’ve taken the test so many times and gotten so many different results you haven’t a clue what your true type is? Never fear. Here are 5 tricks that can help you get back on track. 1 - Ask a close, honest friend to take the test for you.An outsider’s opinion may be invaluable. Be open-minded to their result and see if there’s any truth to it. Make sure you trust this person implicitly, however, as some may try to sugarcoat answers or have a tainted perception of your personality. 2 - Dissect the element of each Type.Intuitives approach planning for the future in a completely different manner than Sensors. Feelers have differing strengths and weaknesses from Thinkers. 3 - Remove false perceptions of the Types. ESFP’s aren’t all party animals. INTJ’s aren’t all know-it-all jerks. ISTP’s can actually settle down and have a family. ENFJ’s can be seriously manipulative bullies. Or perhaps you have a false perception that Feelers aren’t smart or Thinkers have hearts of ice. It’s a difficult conclusion to come to, but important to realize if you’re to move forward in the world of MBTI. 4 - Own your weaknesses and strengths.Before taking the test for the fiftieth time, it may be a good idea to break away from the stereotypes and what the MBTI gurus say and list what YOU think are your strengths and weaknesses. Do you have a vivid imagination? Do you cream everyone else at strategy games? Does everything come together easily for you or do you enjoy having a plan in place? Does your emotional spouse confuse you? Do you need people around to be productive and feel like you have a purpose? 5 - Take a break.Yeah, this is the hardest one, but probably the most helpful. Take a break and set discovering yourself on the back burner of your mind for a few weeks. Three is the most recommended. When you stop trying to force it to come, it will come on its own. I know some will have a rough time with this, but like a boomerang, you have to let it go for it to come back to you. Was this list helpful to you? What’s the biggest struggle YOU have when it comes to personality tests?
Introverts are awesome. They have these incredible inner workings and look from the inside out, seeing things extroverts might have missed. They’re less inclined to allow the emotions of a group to affect them, as they decide how they think and feel on the inside before taking the mass opinion into consideration. I’m so glad they’re becoming better understood in society and that they’re allowing time for their own needs to be met instead of everyone claiming something was wrong with them or they needed to stop being shy/quiet/a hermit/awkward/etc. Something has happened, however, that I don’t think society quite expected. It has become COOL to be an Introvert. You’ve got to recharge your batteries? No worries, you’re introverted. Everyone understands that. Seeming standoffish today? No worries, you just need some time to yourself, and that's okay. I don’t mind that it’s cool to be introverted. I think it’s awesome everyone is taking your needs into consideration and that you’re allowing yourself to be you. Heck, even Ambiverts are getting their time in the sun. AWESOME! I’m SO happy that you’re honoring your needs and natural tendencies. The side effect of this, however, is now it ISN’T cool to be an Extrovert. Extroverts are starting to be seen as needy, clingy, obnoxious people who can’t think or feel for themselves. The pendulum has swung the other way and while some may say that’s just justice or karma or whathaveyou, it really isn’t. No one, not Introverts, not Ambiverts, not Extroverts, should feel left out in the cold. It took me the longest time to accept that I was extroverted. The second and third times I took the MBTI, I got an Introverted result. The first time I got extrovert and was embarrassed. Let me repeat that. The first time I took the test, I got an extroverted result AND WAS EMBARRASSED! I couldn’t admit to myself that I looked from the outside in. I judge books by their covers. I jump to conclusions and make assumptions. I make an idiot out of myself in public. I love the spotlight. And I didn’t like that part of myself because it wasn’t “cool”. That’s not to say that doing any of that is always a good thing. I almost looked over my future husband because he was “too good looking to be a good guy”. But these traits can be strengths. Because extroverts look on the outside in, we can smooth over squabbles, we can create harmony in groups. We can successfully come to fast conclusions and solve problems in a snap. Let’s face it, life would be boring without that one person in your group of friends who isn’t afraid to goof off in public and embarrass you with loud, overthetop praise and excitement. And guess what? We NEED you. That feeling you get when you haven’t had enough time to yourself? Extroverts get that same feeling when they’ve had TOO MUCH time to themselves. If you don’t want to call your extroverted friends, text us. “Hi” is only two letters. We can take over the conversation from there. Or not. If you want to talk about deep, philosophical things, let’s hear them! We’re just happy to talk with you! Let us celebrate with you, cry with you, rage with you. Because we look on the outside in, we can share your feelings. We’re not being fake, we’re supporting YOU. Because we love you! Introverts aren’t shy. Ambiverts aren’t wishy-washy. Extroverts aren’t stupid. Extroverts can be shy. Ambiverts need both social activity AND alone time. Introverts can have gobs of charisma. All of that is AMAZING. So be PROUD. Be Intro/Ambi/Extroverted. Be YOU.
Anyone who’s ever drawn breath has had a bad day. Days when nothing seems to go right and the odds seem to be stacked against you. Days when you just want to curl up in bed and ignore everything while you sink into the abysses of your favorite Netflix binge show. Days when every little frustration sticks to every other little frustration until you don’t know whether you want to scream or cry or both. You aren’t alone. We’ve been there, too. So here’s a five-step bad day survival guide AND an epicly easy recipe to get you back on your feet.
Many have said that 2016 has been a ...difficult... year, to put it mildly. Some of our favorite actors, Alan Rickman, David Bowie, George Michael, Gene Wilder, and many others died this year of various causes. We had to choose between two less-than-ideal presidential candidates. So much difficulty, so much “cultural trauma”. It’s no wonder people are either ready for the new year to start or worry that 2017 will be even worse.
We have no control over events in the next year. The new president will take his seat in the White House. More beloved public figures will pass. Life will happen. But there’s hope. Life is full of challenges. If it wasn’t, there wouldn’t be much point to living it, would there? Challenges are important. They have the potential to help us become even more than the highest ideal of ourselves we can currently comprehend. It’s our job to see them as such. Though, that isn’t always easy.
What did you want to be when you were little? What held your attention for hours on end, surprising your parents with how long you could focus? What games did you play? What books did you love? What did you pretend to be most of the time? I’ve always held the belief that at a certain age, we knew what we wanted in life." |
AuthorRegan Guerra is a Personality Geek. As an ENFJ 4w3, she dreams big, wanting to build a ranch where others can rediscover themselves and learn to reimagine life the way it's supposed to be. Archives
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